In which I acknowledge how hard it is to distinguish these things.

21 Aug

As a Respected Historical Authority, I often get people asking me when it is appropriate to compare people to Hitler. “Jules,” people will say, “surely it must be appropriate to tell a gay Jewish Congressman that his party, in advocating health care reform, is in fact pushing Nazism on this country!”

The confusion is understandable; to all but the most expert of historians’ eyes, a bunch of Constitutionally-elected officials seeking input from the nation’s people in an attempt at pure Athenian-style democracy looks a lot like the suspension of civil liberties and discourse by a party aggressive to any “impure” person, to say nothing of how easy it is to confuse, say, proposed health care reforms with the systematic slaughter of millions of people!

So, as the fruit of years of intensive study, I humbly submit to the public this chart. I can only hope that I have effectively done justice to the many subtleties involved in making the distinction between people who deserve the term “Nazi” and people who don’t.

For multifunctionality, print out two copies. On the second, use white-out to cover “person” and replace it with “thing”, then cover “Hitler” and replace it with “Nazism” and/or “the Holocaust”. I would advise you to change the pronouns accordingly, but let’s face it, if you think Barack Obama is just like Hitler, I have my doubts about whether you know what a pronoun is, seeing as you think Barack Obama is just like fucking Hitler, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.

You’re welcome.

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4 Responses to “In which I acknowledge how hard it is to distinguish these things.”

  1. erica August 21, 2009 at 14:44 #

    That is a beautiful flowchart.

  2. Madeleine Robins September 6, 2009 at 22:08 #

    This is such a public service! Thank you!

  3. Sharon September 6, 2009 at 23:15 #

    Brilliant!
    This flow chart is one of the useful tools I have seen on the web as of late. I have shared your link on Facebook.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. links for 2009-09-04 « Embololalia - September 4, 2009

    […] In which I acknowledge how hard it is to distinguish these things. « historytelling So, as the fruit of years of intensive study, I humbly submit to the public this chart. I can only hope that I have effectively done justice to the many subtleties involved in making the distinction between people who deserve the term “Nazi” and people who don’t. (tags: funny politics nazis usa barackobama) […]

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